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Post by lifeandliberty on Sept 26, 2006 23:12:33 GMT -5
"The Ten Commandments didn't have an expiration date on them like a carton of milk"
Dennis Green
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Post by luketentwo on Sept 27, 2006 9:03:09 GMT -5
I am not a prophet, I am not the offspring of a prophet, but I work for a Non-Profit organization!
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Post by Jesse Morrell on Sept 27, 2006 9:52:45 GMT -5
"Tommorow is not promised but Judgment Day is!"
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Post by ejuliot on Oct 8, 2006 16:31:14 GMT -5
"The Law Giver gave the Law Keeper to die for the Law Breaker"- Paris Reidhead
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Post by dale on Oct 9, 2006 9:39:49 GMT -5
You can be on fire for Jesus or be on fire in hell.
I meant it mockingly when I thought it up but I suppose it could work for reaL AS WELL.
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Post by Josh Parsley on Oct 12, 2006 20:23:13 GMT -5
Only a coward would rather fight a man than wrestle with God until he's born again.
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Post by Miles Lewis on Oct 12, 2006 23:05:38 GMT -5
You can be on fire for Jesus or be on fire in hell. I meant it mockingly when I thought it up but I suppose it could work for reaL AS WELL. Yeah thats pretty good, I just might use that one.
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Post by victorialewis on Oct 13, 2006 7:57:15 GMT -5
"The Ten Commandments didn't have an expiration date on them like a carton of milk" Dennis Green This is sooo funny. When I first got to this page of the thread, at the top were links to topics which might also be of interest. They were: Milk Carton bird feeders, Milk _______, etc.
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Post by dale on Oct 13, 2006 8:46:06 GMT -5
Jesus says its okay to preach in a purple shirt
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Post by mahatma on Oct 13, 2006 11:45:49 GMT -5
"The Ten Commandments didn't have an expiration date on them like a carton of milk" Dennis Green "but your picture is on the back of Christ's carton of milk...you're a lost child!" Just thought I should join in the one-liner fun. Is that one too cheesy? Actually it might make a better country song. Wow. That reminded me of a really dirty song which could be converted into christian song. "Repentance is so much better when the sinner is crying" could be the new title.
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Post by dale on Oct 13, 2006 14:36:07 GMT -5
When God calls your number will you be able to stand up and shout "Bingo" or will you be doomed to the fires of hell?
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Post by evanschaible on Oct 14, 2006 0:04:06 GMT -5
We all know that homosexuals will get it in the end.
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Post by mahatma on Oct 14, 2006 0:56:10 GMT -5
We all know that homosexuals will get it in the end. How droll. I'm certain your wider audience will find that just as witty as I do.
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Post by mahatma on Oct 14, 2006 1:58:30 GMT -5
I was bored. So I counted up all the one-liners submitted and categorized them. I didn't count one-liners from the heathens, scriptural quotations, or lines in posts which were comprised primarily of philisophical debate/discussion, since they were longer posts and not primarily "one liners". I have some personal interpretations for what I believe these numbers represent, but for now I'll just present the results So here goes...some categories have a () following, which means a footnote regarding that category. Enjoy Repentance(A): 41 Homosexuality: 13 Snappy Comebacks(B): 11 Drunkeness: 9 Fornication: 7 Other Religions(C): 4 Profanity(D): 4 False Conversion(E): 4 Pornography: 3 Drugs: 2 Indecency(F): 2 Lying: 2 Masturbation: 1 All Other Sins: 0 (A) general message of repentance/salvation with either no mention of particular sin, or mention of enough different sins that it should be considered "general" (B) Lines that do not involve the gospel, but are geared to crowd control and heckler response (C) Covering Catholicism as well as non-Christian faiths (D) Verbal and gesture-based profanity (E) Messages to the not-true-Christians/not-really-saved (F) indecency as lack of humble/full dress
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Post by Jesse Morrell on Oct 14, 2006 23:17:05 GMT -5
I am very impressed!!
I do know that there were some Jesus oneliners in there as well. Like "Jesus died so we don't have to die" and " He gave His life so that we could recieve life".
Nevertheless, I was glad to see repentance take the lead. It seems repentance is the most neglected part of the gospel. But we can tip the balances. And preach the most neglected part of the gospel the most!
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Post by mahatma on Oct 15, 2006 2:10:16 GMT -5
Jesse,
I included the messages about Jesus dying for sin in the "Repentance" section, as they seemed to be most easily categorized as a "general" message. Next time I am bored though I can go through and split them out into a grace/forgiveness category.
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Post by HDmatt on Oct 18, 2006 12:15:45 GMT -5
I have culled a swarm of awesome material from all of yall's post, thanks! Plan to use definitely Jonathan's & Josh's flip off lines! Praise God for this thread
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Post by HDmatt on Oct 19, 2006 20:51:12 GMT -5
I forgot to mention a fav one liner I have yet to even use! I just finished reading Foxes Book of Martyrs and a word spoken by Mistress Anne Askew to a backslider who also urged her to recant her beliefs shook me to the core! QUOTE-"Then came to me Nicholas Shaxton, and counselled me to recant as he had done. I said to him, that it had been good for him never to have been born." I would like to encounter backsliding who say Jesus just hasn't done it for them, or they found another way and shake them up with this line someway during an open air!! The Holy Spirit as my GUIDE! Also one more for good measure. R.A. Torrey was approached by a huge man who came to him and told him he had lived a good life, and why does he need this Jesus? Mr. Torrey looked him right in the eye and told him I charge you with high treason against the King of the heavens! (this is the amen section!)
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Post by Josh Parsley on Oct 24, 2006 18:52:25 GMT -5
If you offer God your money and not your self you are insulting God and He does not want it. Keep it for yourself.
- GW North
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Post by mahatma on Oct 24, 2006 19:17:10 GMT -5
or the great U2 line...
"The God I believe in isn't short on cash, mister"
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Post by Jeffrey Olver on Oct 31, 2006 19:25:32 GMT -5
I haven't been following the thread that long...but here's some 'one liners'
Don't be confused by Confuscious, baffled by Buddha, hung up by hinduism or mislead by Mohammed. Be set free from idolatry by the Savior: Jesus Christ!
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Post by supergirl79 on Nov 19, 2006 0:33:05 GMT -5
Here's one that I thought up with Evan after the peacful Hare Krishnas were pushing him away at the U of A:
"Watch it Hare Krishna, or you will come back as a cockroach and you will be stomped on!"
"sorostitutes" is a good word to thow in when the females on campus are scantally dressed...It's basically a combonation of "sorority girls" and "prostitutes".
I really like all of your one liners! ;D
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Post by mahatma on Nov 19, 2006 0:48:51 GMT -5
I have to say sorostitutes may be the most accurate description of sorority girls I have ever heard lol. I also am immensely tickled that either you spelled the bug's name "thingy"roach or that the sites filters changed it to that. Good stuff. How about thingyadoodledoo? <--- (edit) LOL it is the filters. Good times.
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Devon
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by Devon on Dec 8, 2006 18:18:27 GMT -5
I got my favorite one-liner from Jesse:
"I came by today to tell you that sin, sin, sin, sin, sin, sin... is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, ... "
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Post by Miles Lewis on Dec 10, 2006 23:55:14 GMT -5
Dale said:
I don't have to use that one liner because everyone already knows that truth.
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Post by jonathanhulewicz on Dec 11, 2006 3:52:45 GMT -5
"If it aint King James, it aint Bible!"
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Post by alan4jc on Dec 11, 2006 14:38:46 GMT -5
When there is a "christian" who says I don't like the way you witness say
I like the way I witness better than the way you dont.
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Post by supergirl79 on Dec 11, 2006 15:56:27 GMT -5
When there is a "christian" who says I don't like the way you witness say I like the way I witness better than the way you dont. Good one! Goes with: "I like the tracts I hand out better than the ones you don't."
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Post by Jesse Morrell on Dec 12, 2006 16:51:58 GMT -5
When someone says, "your judging us! You are being judgmental!"
I respond with, "God is more judgmental then I am! God has dedicated an entire day to judgment! It's called Judgment Day!"
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Post by alan4jc on Dec 12, 2006 16:54:55 GMT -5
I liked on one video Miles was being accused of judging and he asked the guy..."are you judging me?"
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