Post by debonnaire on Jun 11, 2008 8:17:34 GMT -5
found this elsewhere... ;D
"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”
Kierkegaard: Just because a chicken crosses the road it does not mean he is on the other side
Qohelet: Crossing the road is meaningless
Mark : Immediately the chicken crossed the road
John Calvin : The chicken was predestined to cross the road
Jesse Morell : The chicken has free will, therefore he chose to cross the road.
Luther: There I stood
Descartes: I cross; therefore, I am.
Job: Consider the chicken, Were you there when it first crossed the road?
Paul of Tarsus: The chicken does not understand what it does. The chicken does not want to cross the road. It does what it does not want to do, but what it hates to do. Who will save him from this life of road-crossing?!?
John of Patmos: This is the message we have received concerning the chicken: he has crossed the road and there is no darkness in him
Marin Luther King : The chicken had a dream of a mountain top from where he could see the other side of the road
Feminist Theologian: Typical patriarchy. I know you mean a rooster. Why can’t it be a hen?
Liberation Theologian: Because poor people were on the other side
Jim West: Lord Zwingli commanded him, “Cross!” And the dilettante chicken crossed…away from a homeschool.
Todd Bentley: The chicken was barking like a dog and I BAMMED him across the road!
Bob Jones: I ordered the chicken to be plucked naked so I can prophesy on how she can cross the road.
Patricia King: He did not need the cross as he went through a portal instead
Todd Bentley (again): To get ’some’ tangible transferable anointing
Lakeland Supporters: We’ll wait to see the fruit, who are you to judge?
Rick Joyner: for the sake of unity
Mike Bickle: Look, I know the chicken prophesied he would cross the ocean last year; but, he’s still growing in the prophetic. He is not a false prophet. We’re all under Grace now. But, don’t take my word for it. Check the scriptures for yourself.
Contemplative prayer practicers: The chicken did not cross the road. He stilled himself before the Lord and listened for His voice. Then the chicken had vision that he had been carried across the road by the Lord. Even though he did not move, the chicken was moved by his vision and felt that he had already crossed the road.
Todd Bentley: The chicken was in the front pew just worshiping, and the angel said, kick it in the face. So I did and it..I swear this is true, it fell under the anointing and levitated to the other side.
KIM CLEMENT (3 days before the crossing of the road by the chicken): The Lord tells me that in no uncertain terms that the chicken will NEVER cross that road. Wow, the prophetic word is really flowing tonight.
BENNY HINN: Well, of course my chicken is going to need a $12,000 gold-plated wagon to get across the road. You don’t expect him to cross in an old wheelbarrow while doing the Lord’s work, do you?
PAUL AND JAN CROUCH: Listen, beloved, if you want the message of the chicken to continue, please sow your best chicken seed RIGHT NOW!
BILL CLINTON: Yeah, I saw that chicken….Nice legs.
KIM CLEMENT (3 days after the crossing of the road by the chicken): I know many of you have misinterpreted my earlier prophecy concerning the chicken, and it just goes to show little you understand how the prophetic works. (PS, the government has asked me to remove the chicken prophecy due to national security concerns)
David Pawson: The chicken is not biblical so it is fairly uncertain wheter it crossed the road or not. The chicken may not have been at all.
Rick Warren: The chicken needs a purpose for crossing the road.
Kenneth Copeland I stood in agreement with him so the chicken crossed the road to me
Creflo Dollar The chicked sowed his seed to build a bridge to cross the road
Chuck Pierce: June is the Hebraic month of Tammuz, a TIME OF SEEING! God plans to give his people A NEW VISION of THE GLORY REALM and A RENEWED PURPOSE! I sense A POULTRY INVASION INTO THE ASPHALT REALM, and many chickens shall be relocated into GREATER ANOINTINGS!
Watchman: Well the chicken thought he was jumping into the river to ‘get with it’ … and when he regained consciousness, he realised that he was off the other side of the straight and narrow path.
The Doubter: He didn’t, there was no other side except his
Brian Fenimore: Lately in my Christian experience, the Lord’s been developing this theme about the Chicken crossing the road.
Kris Vallotton: So, howmannyofya know that the chicken crossed the road?? That was a good joke right there.
John Piper: The Chicken is most glorified when I am most satisfied in him.
Mike Bickle: Beloved, The Chicken crossed the road.
Bill Johnson: The Chicken got what I deserved, so that I could get what he deserved.
Georgian Banov: Woooooah. ha ha ha ha. Shiggi. So, I was drinking the word the other day, and I read this verse “and the chicken crossed the road.” It’s just so funny, you know … God’s really funny.
Kennith “Daddy” Haggin: The Chicken had the authority to cross the road.
Fundamentalist: In the King James Bible, it says “the yellow Chicken crossed the road.” All those other per-versions like your sissy NIV say “the chicken crossed the road.” So, everyone who doesn’t read the KJV is going to hell……….
Speaker in Toronto: he he he…. alright lets get into the word. Verse 7. And the Chicken crossed the road. Woahhh….. ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa *Audience laughs for 20 minutes*
Rick Warren: It was a purpose driven chicken.
Bob Jones: So, a purple colored 6 headed chicken appeared to me one day in ma’ living room’ and says to me ………
Atheist: I don’t believe there is a chicken.
Agnostic: There’s no way to prove there is or isn’t a chicken crossing the road.
Emergent Church Crowd: Brian McLaren was there
Juanita Bynum: Who Cares why the chicken crossed the road ? There was Money there
Traditionalist: The chicken crossed the road to follow the path of those before
Pentecostal: The chicken crossed the road for he did not want to touch God’s anointed
Sadducee: There is no other side
Charismatic: the chicken crossed the road becasue it felt Good
Hippie: It was far out
Roman Catholic: It does not matter, all roads to Rome
Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Marilyn Hickey etc: To avoid Senator Grassley
Joel Osteen: Urr…. it is not why you should focus on but how the chicken went! He went in his gold plated private jet. God wants the chicken’s best life now.
Paula White: to get cosmetic surgery. She’s not a spring chicken anymore.
C Peter Wagner and the New Apostles: We are the road.
"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”
Kierkegaard: Just because a chicken crosses the road it does not mean he is on the other side
Qohelet: Crossing the road is meaningless
Mark : Immediately the chicken crossed the road
John Calvin : The chicken was predestined to cross the road
Jesse Morell : The chicken has free will, therefore he chose to cross the road.
Luther: There I stood
Descartes: I cross; therefore, I am.
Job: Consider the chicken, Were you there when it first crossed the road?
Paul of Tarsus: The chicken does not understand what it does. The chicken does not want to cross the road. It does what it does not want to do, but what it hates to do. Who will save him from this life of road-crossing?!?
John of Patmos: This is the message we have received concerning the chicken: he has crossed the road and there is no darkness in him
Marin Luther King : The chicken had a dream of a mountain top from where he could see the other side of the road
Feminist Theologian: Typical patriarchy. I know you mean a rooster. Why can’t it be a hen?
Liberation Theologian: Because poor people were on the other side
Jim West: Lord Zwingli commanded him, “Cross!” And the dilettante chicken crossed…away from a homeschool.
Todd Bentley: The chicken was barking like a dog and I BAMMED him across the road!
Bob Jones: I ordered the chicken to be plucked naked so I can prophesy on how she can cross the road.
Patricia King: He did not need the cross as he went through a portal instead
Todd Bentley (again): To get ’some’ tangible transferable anointing
Lakeland Supporters: We’ll wait to see the fruit, who are you to judge?
Rick Joyner: for the sake of unity
Mike Bickle: Look, I know the chicken prophesied he would cross the ocean last year; but, he’s still growing in the prophetic. He is not a false prophet. We’re all under Grace now. But, don’t take my word for it. Check the scriptures for yourself.
Contemplative prayer practicers: The chicken did not cross the road. He stilled himself before the Lord and listened for His voice. Then the chicken had vision that he had been carried across the road by the Lord. Even though he did not move, the chicken was moved by his vision and felt that he had already crossed the road.
Todd Bentley: The chicken was in the front pew just worshiping, and the angel said, kick it in the face. So I did and it..I swear this is true, it fell under the anointing and levitated to the other side.
KIM CLEMENT (3 days before the crossing of the road by the chicken): The Lord tells me that in no uncertain terms that the chicken will NEVER cross that road. Wow, the prophetic word is really flowing tonight.
BENNY HINN: Well, of course my chicken is going to need a $12,000 gold-plated wagon to get across the road. You don’t expect him to cross in an old wheelbarrow while doing the Lord’s work, do you?
PAUL AND JAN CROUCH: Listen, beloved, if you want the message of the chicken to continue, please sow your best chicken seed RIGHT NOW!
BILL CLINTON: Yeah, I saw that chicken….Nice legs.
KIM CLEMENT (3 days after the crossing of the road by the chicken): I know many of you have misinterpreted my earlier prophecy concerning the chicken, and it just goes to show little you understand how the prophetic works. (PS, the government has asked me to remove the chicken prophecy due to national security concerns)
David Pawson: The chicken is not biblical so it is fairly uncertain wheter it crossed the road or not. The chicken may not have been at all.
Rick Warren: The chicken needs a purpose for crossing the road.
Kenneth Copeland I stood in agreement with him so the chicken crossed the road to me
Creflo Dollar The chicked sowed his seed to build a bridge to cross the road
Chuck Pierce: June is the Hebraic month of Tammuz, a TIME OF SEEING! God plans to give his people A NEW VISION of THE GLORY REALM and A RENEWED PURPOSE! I sense A POULTRY INVASION INTO THE ASPHALT REALM, and many chickens shall be relocated into GREATER ANOINTINGS!
Watchman: Well the chicken thought he was jumping into the river to ‘get with it’ … and when he regained consciousness, he realised that he was off the other side of the straight and narrow path.
The Doubter: He didn’t, there was no other side except his
Brian Fenimore: Lately in my Christian experience, the Lord’s been developing this theme about the Chicken crossing the road.
Kris Vallotton: So, howmannyofya know that the chicken crossed the road?? That was a good joke right there.
John Piper: The Chicken is most glorified when I am most satisfied in him.
Mike Bickle: Beloved, The Chicken crossed the road.
Bill Johnson: The Chicken got what I deserved, so that I could get what he deserved.
Georgian Banov: Woooooah. ha ha ha ha. Shiggi. So, I was drinking the word the other day, and I read this verse “and the chicken crossed the road.” It’s just so funny, you know … God’s really funny.
Kennith “Daddy” Haggin: The Chicken had the authority to cross the road.
Fundamentalist: In the King James Bible, it says “the yellow Chicken crossed the road.” All those other per-versions like your sissy NIV say “the chicken crossed the road.” So, everyone who doesn’t read the KJV is going to hell……….
Speaker in Toronto: he he he…. alright lets get into the word. Verse 7. And the Chicken crossed the road. Woahhh….. ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa *Audience laughs for 20 minutes*
Rick Warren: It was a purpose driven chicken.
Bob Jones: So, a purple colored 6 headed chicken appeared to me one day in ma’ living room’ and says to me ………
Atheist: I don’t believe there is a chicken.
Agnostic: There’s no way to prove there is or isn’t a chicken crossing the road.
Emergent Church Crowd: Brian McLaren was there
Juanita Bynum: Who Cares why the chicken crossed the road ? There was Money there
Traditionalist: The chicken crossed the road to follow the path of those before
Pentecostal: The chicken crossed the road for he did not want to touch God’s anointed
Sadducee: There is no other side
Charismatic: the chicken crossed the road becasue it felt Good
Hippie: It was far out
Roman Catholic: It does not matter, all roads to Rome
Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Marilyn Hickey etc: To avoid Senator Grassley
Joel Osteen: Urr…. it is not why you should focus on but how the chicken went! He went in his gold plated private jet. God wants the chicken’s best life now.
Paula White: to get cosmetic surgery. She’s not a spring chicken anymore.
C Peter Wagner and the New Apostles: We are the road.