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family
Dec 29, 2008 14:33:52 GMT -5
Post by benjoseph on Dec 29, 2008 14:33:52 GMT -5
I had a daughter with a woman who I was not legally married to. We had read vows to each other privately but never followed through legally. She had been pregnant before by a boyfriend as a teenager but not married. I had also "been engaged" to others as a teenager. I thought it was just kid stuff or something, I don't think I ever exchanged vows like that with someone before the mother of my daughter but I don't really remember what kind of stupid things I might have said in the past..
Does God consider her my wife? If so should I remain single since she lives with another man? If she gets legally married to someone else but then decided to follow Jesus would restoring our relationship be possible? If she's made it close to impossible for me to see my daughter and is actively and legally opposed to things that I would teach my daughter about biblically, is it right/wise for me to push to have visits with my daughter?
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jsides
Junior Member
Posts: 81
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family
Dec 30, 2008 22:56:39 GMT -5
Post by jsides on Dec 30, 2008 22:56:39 GMT -5
I do not believe God considers her your wife. If she legally gets married then she needs to submit to her husband . You should by all means try your best to train up your daughter in the way she should follow God in order to have visits though would also require you to pay child support. If you would like more info more privately let me know.
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family
Dec 31, 2008 11:46:51 GMT -5
Post by rescuedbymary06 on Dec 31, 2008 11:46:51 GMT -5
I had a daughter with a woman who I was not legally married to. We had read vows to each other privately but never followed through legally. She had been pregnant before by a boyfriend as a teenager but not married. I had also "been engaged" to others as a teenager. I thought it was just kid stuff or something, I don't think I ever exchanged vows like that with someone before the mother of my daughter but I don't really remember what kind of stupid things I might have said in the past.. Does God consider her my wife? If so should I remain single since she lives with another man? If she gets legally married to someone else but then decided to follow Jesus would restoring our relationship be possible? If she's made it close to impossible for me to see my daughter and is actively and legally opposed to things that I would teach my daughter about biblically, is it right/wise for me to push to have visits with my daughter? Ever heard on Holy Orders?
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family
Dec 31, 2008 23:28:38 GMT -5
Post by jackjackson on Dec 31, 2008 23:28:38 GMT -5
If your vows with her were intensionally made to each and God, I believe He would have seen you as married. There was and is no denomination that has to recognize a marriage, only God. Governments got into the marriage business for "legal" and "financial" reasons. They get fees for marriage, and have tax implications.
If she is now "with" another man; I believe you would have grounds for a divorce before God, if your vows were with Him. If you ask God to forgive you and grant divorce, ask Him to make it known to you, and ask Him to make it known if you should move on or remain single. Neither I or anyones opinions or feelings should be more important than Gods.
BTW: I am blessed your conscience to obey God is so great. many wouldn't blink over this. May God bless you and grant you a new wife and bless you with many in your quiver.
Your third question depends on whether you were actually married. Either way, if He says marry her, as He did ask Hosea to do, obey Him. You would have biblical grounds based on Hosea, but if He worked it out and made you aware to marry her even better. If that is your hearts desire, I pray even now He grants it and makes it so.
It is always right and good to see your daughter, and as a parent, you have a mandate to try and raise her up in proper faith.
I end letting you know I just prayed that the mother of your daughter would come to know the Lord, allow visits for you and have her heart turned towards yours, bring you all back together to raise "godly seed" for Him.
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kenm
Full Member
Posts: 173
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family
Jan 1, 2009 8:49:38 GMT -5
Post by kenm on Jan 1, 2009 8:49:38 GMT -5
I would have to second the above post by jjackson, and I am by no means an expert on your situation but I agree that you should see your kids so that they have a Biblical influence in their life.
I will be praying for you and I ask ( and I am sure you already are) to pray and fast and seek God's answer.
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jsides
Junior Member
Posts: 81
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family
Jan 2, 2009 23:31:54 GMT -5
Post by jsides on Jan 2, 2009 23:31:54 GMT -5
There is no scripture support what so ever for making a vow with one another for marriage with out some kind of authority or else many would just say well we are not really fornicating since God knows we are married but no one else does.
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kenm
Full Member
Posts: 173
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family
Jan 2, 2009 23:44:40 GMT -5
Post by kenm on Jan 2, 2009 23:44:40 GMT -5
What kind of human authority was present in the first marriage between Adam and Eve?
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jsides
Junior Member
Posts: 81
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family
Jan 2, 2009 23:51:30 GMT -5
Post by jsides on Jan 2, 2009 23:51:30 GMT -5
The only authority that was possiable. It was God himself who united them how bout that prearranged marriage.
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jsides
Junior Member
Posts: 81
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family
Jan 2, 2009 23:53:56 GMT -5
Post by jsides on Jan 2, 2009 23:53:56 GMT -5
So what next I can marry my sister because Cain did.
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